Category: ENG

Read Antonia Peacocke’s essay, “Family Guy & Freud: Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious” (pp. 147-159 in They Say/I Say), then answer the following question as a Blog post of at least 250 words: Using at least two direct examples from her essay, describe how Peacocke positions her voice within her essay. What might we learn, as writers, from her techniques and writing moves? What did she do well in her essay? Be as specific as possible. Post as “Sample Essay Response.”

Throughout her essay, “Family Guy and Freud: Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious”, Antonia Peacocke positions her voice within the text. One example of how does this is by professing her love for the show and engaging with some of the episodes. This allows her to make the essay personal, and thus make it seem as though she’s writing directly to the reader. An example of this is at the beginning of the piece when she says, “Any of my friends can tell you that this program holds endless fascination for me; as a matter of fact, my high-school rag-sheet “perfect mate” was the baby Stewie Griffin … I know every website that streams the show for free, and I still refuse to return the five Family Guy DVDs a friend lent me in 2006″ (Peacocke 147-48). Peacocke is professing her obsession for the show, but in doing so she also uses her own voice directly with personal pronouns. Another technique Peacocke uses to position her voice in the essay is with the use of naysayer statements. Her use of naysayers helps her personally interact with the perspectives and skepticism of the reader. Furthermore, through the use of these naysayer statements, Peacocke’s voice becomes apparent in the piece. An example of this is when she explores how some viewers may find the humor in Family Guy to be offensive. She says, “I must admit, I can see how parts of the show might seem offensive if taken at face value. Look, for example, at the mock fifties instructional video that features in the episode “I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar” (Peacocke 150). Peacocke appeals to her skeptics by admitting she understands how some jokes in Family Guy appear to be offensive at first glance. She goes on to answer this skepticism later in her essay when she explains that Seth MacFarlane uses this mock fifties instructional video as a tool to denounce and ridicule sexism. Not only is this an effective technique to strengthen her argument, but it also implements her voice and perspectives in a personal way. As a writer, we can learn from Peacocke’s writing by learning methods that indirectly position our voice in argumentative writing without having to rely on the use of “I” and other pronouns. Her personal relationship to the show and the naysayer statements are both ways in which she does this.  

1. What is the relationship between education and success? As you reread Coates’s essay, look for places where he talks about the goals of education and the consequences of failing (or even succeeding) in school. How are these inflected by race and class?

In my opinion, the relationship between childhood education and success is very important. Not only is the ability to read, write, think critically, etc. very important, but also developing intangible qualities such as empathy, collaboration, and respect. All of which are essential in later success. In this letter to his young son, Coates gives a very harsh, yet fair criticism of how the Baltimore educational system failed to provide him with these important qualities. Instead, he says that the educational system drugged him with a sense of false morality. Which is to suggest that his education was not actually about learning, it was a means of escape from death and penal warehousing (Coates 93). Furthermore, he explains that if black men dropped out of school it was also damaging as it would be an indicator that the majority (60%) of them would go to jail. This letter further explores this issue through the lens of race and class. Coates put his educational experience in conversation to that of a white child’s. He states, “The world had no time for the childhoods of black boys and girls … why — for us and only us — is the other side of free will and free spirits an assault upon our bodies?” (Coates 93). Coates is introducing the topic of race, and then explains how his education was almost second tier to that of a white child’s. Throughout the rest of the letter, Coates continues to refer to race as the separating factors between poor and rich, between good education and poor education, and between failure and success. 

2. Coates’s book (from which this excerpt is taken) is framed as a letter to his young son. As you review the essay, consider the impact that form has on content. In what ways does this essay reflect the form of a letter? In what ways is it clear Coates has a larger audience in mind? How do form and audience interact?

I think this essay’s letter form gives it a sense of honesty. This is reflected in the essay’s content as he explores the issues of growing up in west Baltimore from a very personal side. He recounts the dangers of the community, the emotions, the cynical outlook he had on life. Furthermore, because it’s a letter to his young son it seems as though he’s giving him a warning. He’s warning what life could look like he fell victim to the environment that trapped so many other people he grew up with in a cycle of crime and poverty. I think the essay also reflects a letter form through the use of  short paragraphs. On a few occasions he breaks from the traditional paragraph style to have one or two sentences by themselves. I think this gives the essay a conversational tone, similar to the tone in a letter. This really helps him engage with the reader, and makes it seem as though he’s making a plea for attention to the issue of poor education. While this essay is formed as a letter to his young son, there are instances that show he may be appealing to a larger audience. Often times in the essay he uses the pronouns “we”, “us”, “our”, to refer to the general community of west Baltimore. This is present in the letter when Coates says, “We could not get out. The ground we walked was trip-wired. The air we breathed was toxic. The water stunted our growth. We could not get out” (Coates 94). In other words, Coates is telling the reader that his experiences were not unique to him. Instead, they applied to the larger community of children that lived in west Baltimore.      

1. What are the unique challenges Cadogan faces as he walks each city (Kingston, New Orleans, and New York City)? What do we learn, indirectly, about each city from Cadogan’s personal experiences?

Through his narrative we indirectly learn that each city has their own tolerance to race. They’re all different, and have unique rules that present an arbitrariness to racism that have to be discovered through experience. From Kingston to New York, we see how Cadogan reflect this sense of uniqueness as he recounts how alienated and unsafe he felt in each city. In Kingston he is at home and doesn’t have much of a consciousness about his race. Thus he doesn’t feel apprehensive. New Orleans on the other hand was a different reality. Cadogan explains how people feared him, they even threatened to attack him. Cadogan gives proof of this as he states, “I tried to help a man whose wheelchair was stuck in the middle of a crosswalk; he threatened to shoot me in the face, then asked a white pedestrian for help” (Cadogan 5). This not only demonstrates how prejudice some people can be, but also how dangerous those interactions can become. Even New York City, one of the most diverse cities in the world, alienated him. He describes that he was punched in the gut by a white man who though he was attacking him. Or how he needed a white friend to walk with him so he wouldn’t look dangerous.     

2. What rules or restrictions have you placed on your own movements–walks on campus, or around your hometown–with your own safety in mind? In what ways do you connect personally to Cadogan’s piece (be specific by naming those spots).

Approaching this piece as a white man who lives in a peaceful neighborhood, I find it difficult to personally connect with Cadogan’s narrative. I generally don’t feel the need to be worried about what others might think of me, and I certainly don’t feel as though I’m in danger from others. The only exception would be walking behind a woman for a long period of time. I worry that perhaps they think I’m following them, but frankly I can’t recall any times when that was the case. I’m typically not walking around at night unless it’s with friends or if I’m walking my dog. I think this best relates to Cadogan’s experiences of walking the streets of Jamaica. Cadogan recounts these experiences when he says, “I was astonished at how safe the streets felt to me, once again one black body among many, no longer having to anticipate the many ways my presence might instill fear and how to offer some reassuring body language” (Cadogan 8). In other words, Cadogan is saying that unlike his experiences in the United States, when he’s back in Jamaica he doesn’t feel as though he sticks out from the rest. This is how I feel when I’m in my own neighborhood or at school. 

3. Describe a time when you felt unsafe while walking or traveling. What factors made you feel unsafe? How did you respond? Describe your interactions with those around you (if applicable).

The most unsafe I’ve ever felt while walking was probably when I was traveling though an airport in Germany. Going through security was unlike any other airport experience I had ever had before. There were body searches for me and each of my teammates, thorough inspections of all of our bags, and to make things worse we were constantly being watched by men with Uzis, assault riffles, and aggressive dogs. I relate this to Cadogan’s metaphor of feeling like he was walking through a minefield. Cadogan describes this comparison as he says, “the sidewalk was a minefield, and every hesitation and self-censored compensation reduced my dignity. Despite my best efforts, the streets never felt comfortably safe. Even a simple salutation was suspect” (Cadogan 7). This metaphor describes how self-conscious one must be when walking apprehensively.   

1. In her well-known essay, Eula Biss employs the braided technique–wrapping two narratives around one another to tell a unique story. What are those two narratives? In what ways do those narratives intersect and interact? What did you learn from her essay?

Eula Biss presents two narratives in her braided essay: the invention of the telephone and telephone pole; and racism in America. Biss explores the relationship between the two by recounting how Black Americans were hung in the streets, typically on a telephone pole. Although I knew of the graphic nature of these crimes, I didn’t fully understand how common they were. In her essay Biss states, “Lynchings happened everywhere, in all but four states” (Biss 8). I was shocked to learn that lynching happened everywhere in the country, not just in the south. Furthermore, I didn’t know how often lynching happened, but I would have guessed it only took place when a town was overtaken with extreme anger. However, Biss provides evidence to suggest it happened almost daily. An excerpt from a newspaper in Biss’s essay states, “Negros are lying in the gutter every few feet in some places” (Biss 8). In order to have that many dead people in the streets, I would presume it was a daily occurrence.  

2. Consider the children’s game of telephone, as Biss describes it (and maybe from your own experience playing). How does Biss use this popular game as a metaphor for a larger, far more serious issue?

When I played the game of telephone as a kid, I would sit in a large circle and somebody would give a message to be passed around the circle. Finally once the last person heard the message, they would say it aloud to see how misconstrued the message had (or hadn’t) become. Usually the final message was much different than the original. Biss explores this same idea when she says, “The children’s game of telephone depends on the fact that a message passed quietly from one ear to another to another will get distorted at some point along the line” (Biss 6). Biss is exploring something deeper here. She is using the game as a metaphor to explain how rumors about Black people would be translated into egregious stories, many of which would get them killed. Biss sheds light on this issue when she says, “Black men were lynched for crimes real and imagined, for whistles, for rumors, for disputing with a white man, for unpopularity, for asking a white woman in marriage, for peeping in a window” (Biss 6). In other words, rumors (fake or otherwise) would be passed around town until eventually they became so criminal people thought they needed to bring justice into their hands.  

3. How does your interpretation of Biss’s essay change, if at all, once you do a brief Google search of her?

After doing a brief Google search of Eula Biss, I was extremely surprised to discover that she is a young white woman from upstate New York. I would have thought that she was perhaps more personally connected to the issue. I expected her to be Black, older, maybe from the south. I think my original interpretation of her came from her passion filled and well informed essay. At times it almost felt as though her parents had lived through it. I think I was also surprised because this is an issue that a lot of white people don’t feel comfortable writing about. These crimes were tragic, and her writing of them is very graphic. Personally, I don’t think I would have the courage to be so detailed about an uncomfortable subject like this one.

Aidan Hosein

Professor Brod

English 110, Section C

30 October 2020

Empathy: A Virtue of Egoistic Altruism

As social inequality and uncompromising ideological discord grow to unprecedented levels, we are faced with the seemingly insurmountable challenge of trying to make our society an equal and peaceful place for all. With this growing divide, we are now forced to ask ourselves how we can balance and reconcile humanity to ensure we continue to live in a flourishing world. This great divide elevates the relevance of discussing how important, or counterintuitive, empathy really is. Paul Bloom, psychologist and professor at Yale University, expresses that empathy is a paradoxical and untenable social quality in his article “Is Empathy Overrated”. Bloom argues that empathy is a spotlight with a narrow focus; it reflects our biases by shining brightly on those we love and gets dim for those who are different. As a result, Bloom submits that the negatives of empathy outweigh the positives. While empathy could be considered biased, narrow, and insensitive, some argue its necessity for a fuller life with a greater propensity to love others. Renowned author David Foster Wallace argues the latter. In a Kenyon College commencement speech from 2005, Foster Wallace argues that with a valuable college education emphasizing empathy, critical thinking, and awareness, you get to decide how to think, and what to think about. This quality awards a freedom to open one’s mind and heart to truly care for others. As I begin my college journey and enter what could be the most formative years of my life, I am faced with these contradictory perspectives about empathy. Is empathy a good quality to possess, or is it a bad one? Should I strive to have it in my everyday college-student life? Is it even realistic to expect to be an empath all the time? While I understand Bloom’s impulse to characterize empathy as narrow and biased, I cannot accept his overriding conclusion that the negatives of empathy outweigh the positives. By demonstrating the value of knowing how to think and choosing what to think about, David Foster Wallace convinces me that empathy is essential in living a life with more freedom of thought and awareness for others.

Although Bloom argues that empathy distorts our moral judgements the same way prejudice does, Foster Wallace submits the theory that possessing empathy is actually about learning how to dismiss our own prejudices and certainties. Foster Wallace brings this truth to light by exposing the universal belief that we all think the world exists in relation to our own selves. We hardly think about this egocentrism because it is so socially repulsive, but he argues it’s pretty much the same for all of us (Foster Wallace 4). This is what Foster Wallace considers to be our default setting. A setting in which we automatically understand everything solely through our own perspective. Foster Wallace himself writes, “It’s a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting which is to be deeply and literally self-centered and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self” (Foster Wallace 4). In other words, possessing empathy and learning how to think allows us to break from our otherwise innate prejudices. Even Bloom inadvertently exposes this truth when he states, “What really matters for kindness may be self-control, intelligence, and a more diffuse compassion” (Bloom 4). Similar to Foster Wallace’s claim that breaking from our default setting takes self-control and awareness, Bloom argues that the root to kindness must first start with an effort to reform one’s self from within. Empathy awards us this consciousness to expose the biases and prejudices that we all possess. With this awareness, we enable ourselves to live with more freedom of thought and awareness towards others.

In addition to acknowledging that we must think in order to avoid slipping into our unconscious, dead, default setting, Foster Wallace also submits that a liberal arts education teaches us to choose what to think about. Foster Wallace himself states, “learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience” (Foster Wallace 5). In other words, we can individually change the way in which we live and view the world by simply choosing what to value and think about. Foster Wallace demonstrates this to his audience as he presents a few didactic experiences. Whether it be in bumper to bumper traffic, or at a grocery store, choosing how to perceive a situation helps us gain some perspective to stay attentive to what is real and essential around us.

These parables presented by Foster Wallace are personally relatable. A few years back, a group of teammates and I were required to drive an hour north to shovel massive amounts of snow off of somebody’s roof. Enduring freezing temperatures, an immense amount of snow, and the lack of interest or willpower, it would have been very easy to fall into our default setting and be miserable the whole day. But when we flipped that switch in our minds and chose to see it as a bonding opportunity, we changed the experience for the better. The chance to do some community service while simultaneously being together, outside, laughing and playing in the snow, is how we remember that day. When my teammates and I look back, we actually consider it to be one of our fondest memories of the year. Having experienced a time when I chose to think about life in a positive light, the value of Foster Wallace’s theory becomes self-evident. However, Bloom attempts to suggest that choosing what to think about instead causes our perceptions and empathy to be biased. According to Bloom, “it’s far easier to empathize with those who are close to us, those who are similar to us, and those we see as more attractive or vulnerable and less scary” (Bloom 2). Bloom’s point is that we will inherently choose to think about what is familiar to us meaning our empathy will distort our moral judgements the same way prejudice does. By focusing on the immediate and surface idea of empathy, Bloom overlooks the deeper root of what it means to be empathetic. Being an empath is not about choosing when to practice empathy, and when not to. Being an empath is about continuously making the choice to be less self-centered and arrogant, and to have an inner foundation that inspires you to care about others all the time. With the understanding that empathy requires us to choose what we think about, it becomes clear to me that we need empathy to live with more freedom of thought and awareness towards others. Otherwise, we are imprisoned by our own default setting and become unconscious and passive to the world around us.

As I reflect on the value of empathy in the world today, I do wonder whether or not I should strive to adopt the theories of Foster Wallace into my own life. Although I understand Bloom’s impulse to characterize empathy as narrow and biased, I cannot accept his overriding conclusion that the negatives of empathy outweigh the positives. By demonstrating the value of knowing how to think and choosing what to think about, David Foster Wallace convinces me that empathy is essential in living a life with more freedom of thought and awareness for others. Understanding the perspectives and struggles of others is in my opinion one of the greatest challenges we face as a world. And I would argue that the answer isn’t less empathy, it’s more. Even Bloom submits that the real problem is that we don’t have enough empathy for other people (Bloom 3). But he insists that because we cannot open our minds to such an extent we must instead live with less empathy. Not opening your heart to the struggles of others is certainly easier and more convenient than challenging yourself to see the world through different lenses. But simply because it is challenging, cannot mean that we give up entirely in trying to understand and show love for others. Even if your empathy spotlight is narrow, as Bloom suggests it is, if it is strong it can still make a big difference. All the struggles of the world will not be fixed by one person, or one government/organization. But together, when we all shine our spotlights on issues that are important to us, then we can illuminate all the darkness’s of this world. Withstanding these truths, empathy is a virtue of egoistic altruism. Not only does it improve the communities around us, but it also allows us to live with more freedom and love for ourselves. Now with an understanding of the importance of empathy, we should continuously ask ourselves: what would a world without empathy really look like?

Works Cited

Bloom, Paul. “Is Empathy Overrated.” Ideas.Ted.com, 24 Mar. 2017, pp. 2-4.

Foster Wallace, David. “This Is Water.” Farnam Street, 21 May 2005, pp. 4-5.

1. Describe your essay’s most notable strength, using at least one direct quote to support your choice.

I think my essay’s most notable strength is the use of quotes. Quote sandwiches have really helped me implement quotes into a personal argumentative paragraph, and put my voice side by side with that of an author. In addition, effective quote implementations really strengthen an argument and give it validity. An example of one of my quote sandwiches is as follows:

“In addition to acknowledging that we must think in order to avoid slipping into our unconscious, dead, default setting, Foster Wallace also submits that a liberal arts education teaches us to choose what to think about. Foster Wallace himself states, “learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience” (Foster Wallace . In other words, we can individually change the way in which we live and view the world by simply choosing what to value and think about.”

With this quote I was able to introduce my argument (that empathy awards us a choice to choose what we think about). Then, I summarized the quote in a way that connects it to my argument. The strength of this quote greatly helps me support my argument and for that reason I believe it is my essay’s most notable strength.    

2. How has your writing process (from reading/annotating, to turning in a final draft) improved since high school?

In high school I had a tendency to start a paper the night before it was due. In doing so, the paper would be rushed and would not be my best work. Requiring a rough draft a week before the final due date is in my opinion an invaluable benefit to me. Because of this I have automatically given myself the time to do thorough revision after writing the first draft. In addition, the allows me to have the essay sit for a day or two before I go back to it. Also, in high school I would rarely read the full reading prompts. In other words, I wouldn’t read a full book because it was too much work, and would instead rely on online sources that could help me form an essay. Having smaller prompts that we thoroughly discuss in class has really helped me get a better understanding of the pieces, and has in turn really helped me form well informed arguments and claims.  

3. Describe the differences in your revision process from Essay #1 to Essay #2. How has your revision process improved? Call attention to one place in your 2nd essay where revision helped significantly (and describe the process).

Honestly, I’m not sure if my global revision process has improved at all from my first essay to my second. I feel as though the global revision process in my first essay may have actually of been stronger. However, I think perhaps my local revision has gotten stronger. I think the feedback from my first essay really identified a relative weakness at the sentence level, and so I made sentence level revision more of a priority in my second essay. After getting the ideas out onto the page in my rough draft, I definitely worked more and trying to make sentences sound more readable and logical during my revision process. In doing this I probably read my second essay out loud close to 10 times, compared to my first essay I probably only did that about once or twice.   

4. Finish this sentence (and explain why): The aspect of essay composition I’d like to spend more class-time on is local revision and sentence structure.

We work a lot on global revision in class and with peers (which I like), but often times we don’t do much revision at the local, sentence level. This suggestion of course comes from a bias in me because the weakest part of my own writing is in my opinion the sentence structure. I think we should spend more time on learning how to make sentences flow nicely and sound easier to read. I think we should really go through a paragraph and really interrogate each sentence, and see how we can re-word, or re-write parts of it to ensure they sound a lot nicer. This also helps with the want to translate my thoughts in my head, into words on a page.   

5. Copy and paste your final draft’s strongest claim sentence into your post, then analyze it briefly. What makes it your strongest claim? 

“Although Bloom argues that empathy distorts our moral judgements the same way prejudice does, Foster Wallace submits the theory that possessing empathy is actually about learning how to dismiss our own prejudices and certainties”.

I think this is my strongest claim because I introduced the viewpoint of both authors. This introduces the idea of prejudice in relation to empathy, and helped focus the second part of the claim about David Foster Wallace and his argument that empathy is about learning how to dismiss our certainties. I think another advantage to introducing both authors is that it demonstrates a clear difference between their perspectives, and which author I stand with.     

6. Paste then analyze your thesis statements from the first and second essay. How do they compare? Note similarities/differences. Which is stronger and why? 

Essay #1 Thesis

Although I agree with Chen up to a point, I cannot accept his overriding assumption that social media creates lasting and meaningful interpersonal connections. Using the concrete psychological and physiological research of Robin Dunbar, Maria Konnikova convinces me that social media and virtual interactions cannot replicate the importance of physical ones. 

Essay #2 Thesis

While I understand Bloom’s impulse to characterize empathy as narrow and biased, I cannot accept his overriding conclusion that the negatives of empathy outweigh the positives. By demonstrating the value of knowing how to think and choosing what to think about, David Foster Wallace convinces me that empathy is essential in living a life with more freedom of thought and awareness for others.

One of the similarities between the two thesis statements is their structure. In both thesis statements I introduce the argument/perspective that I am rejecting, and then state the argument that I am making, as well as the author I agree with. Another similarity is my introduction of my specific arguments/paragraphs in the second part of each thesis statement. In my first thesis I state “Using the concrete psychological and physiological research of Robin Dunbar”. This directly relates to my two argumentative paragraphs about touch in forming relationships (physiological), and the development of social skills (psychological). In my second thesis I state “By demonstrating the value of knowing how to think and choosing what to think about”. This also introduces my two argumentative paragraphs that are; having awareness to think; and choosing what to think about. I think the biggest difference between the two thesis statements is my agreeing with Chen (up to a point), compared to my overall rejection of Bloom’s arguments. I think the first thesis statement is stronger because the introduction of my arguments and what they convince me of is clearer and more concise, and thus reads more naturally. I think this is reflective of how I felt about the two essay prompts as well, and how I struggled a bit more with the second essay.  

(Sentence-Level Error) – Control sentence-level error (grammar, punctuation, spelling). (Word Count 218)

Throughout the semester I continuously identified local revision as an area of focus. I had already gained a strong understanding of how to structure my essay, so the focus then became on honing in on each sentence. I would continuously proofread my essay out loud to identify areas of my essay that sounded unnatural and wordy.  

In addition to reading through my essay on my own time, as a class we participated in a few thesis workshops. By identifying the four main requirements of a thesis statement (evidence and support, takes a stand, narrow, specific), I realized that I needed to add evidence and support to mine.  

This thesis in my rough draft (Image 1) was strong, but it excluded the evidence and support I used throughout my essay. Another error I identified was the use of passive construct (can create) in red, to a more active and authoritative construct (social media and virtual interactions cannot replicate) in green.   

By adding “Using the concrete psychological and physiological research of Robin Dunbar” (orange), I introduce the two central arguments that support my thesis. In only a few words, this clause focuses the lens of the essay onto these two reasons.

By eliminating the “can create”, and replacing it with “creates”, I made my thesis statement more authoritative and direct.

(Document Work MLA) – Document their work using appropriate conventions (MLA). (Word Count 285)

At the beginning of the semester I approached my writing solely with the intention of getting my ideas on the page. I would completely ignore any formatting obligations until the last step of my revision process. In fact, my rough draft for my first paper didn’t include an MLA header, title, or quote references (Image 1 and 2). This habit developed in high school as I never took the time to learn proper formatting. Instead I looked to the internet to create citations for me, and I looked at google images of MLA formatting to see what it was.

As I began to write more papers I came to memorize how to format the beginning of a paper and use quotes in the essay. An example of this is in my first argumentative paragraph of my second essay. The green and orange identifies the use of  parenthetical citations. The green is an embedded quote; the purple shows the use of a signal phrase to introduce a quote; and the orange identifies the use of direct quotes.

This use of quotes has become second nature to me. I feel as though I have significantly improved my awareness for proper formatting. Another instance when I used MLA format was with my works cited page. In this example, the sources from Biss and Cadogan were accessed online, Chen was from the Emerging anthology, and Coates was from a book, and so I had to construct each citation differently.

One area that I still feel the need to work on is my works cited page. Although all three of my work cited pages were correct, I still have not memorized the differences between citing articles versus books, websites etc.  

(Peer Review) – Be able to critique their own and others’ work by emphasizing global revision early in the writing process and local revision later in the process. (Word Count 425)

At the beginning of the semester, my understanding of a peer review was to read through a paper looking for spelling and grammar errors. I would usually read through it once and then present very limited feedback. Moreover, my classmates and I would only peer review if it was required by the teacher. Needless to say I didn’t find much value in this process, and I’m sure the peer whose work I was reviewing didn’t either.    

However, after learning more about what a good peer review looks like, I developed the skill to purposefully read and assess other’s writing. The two biggest tools that helped me improve this process were learning how to globally review a peer’s work, and the peer review guideline reference sheet. Furthermore, not only did I provided my peer with useful advice, but I actually found it improved my own writing as well. In fact, peer reviewing the work of others helped me more than the feedback I received on my own essays.   

By the end of the semester I found myself thoroughly engaging with my partner’s essay. I would read through it a few times, and then reference the peer review guidelines sheet to ensure I was addressing all the areas a good peer review would. These areas include the use of an author’s voice; their use and explanation of quotes; their essential argument including their thesis statement; and confusing passages that required more attention. In addition to assessing these areas of their essay, I would ensure they met all the requirements for the paper, and then I’d finish with a brief end-comment. In my final peer review, I felt as though the entire review was thoughtful and beneficial. Attached below is that peer review.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CP4BEHawpWS6htATMr_2qql-a55b_BukkCuaCpi1RS4/edit?usp=sharing

Ultimately I was satisfied with the effort I put into peer reviewing this piece. I felt as though I identified areas that were strong, and addressed areas that needed more revision. In addition, I presented my classmate with specific examples of how they might change some areas. An example of this is my last comment on page four when I suggest Mya use a different quote to substantiate her argument of that paragraph.  

The reviews I received on my own work were also beneficial to my writing. Having Elena read my essays aloud helped me identify areas that sounded bogged down with long words. Additionally, having other people go over my essay and verify that my claims were relevant ensured that my writing made sense to others. An example of this was Tori’s comment about my thesis statement in my first paper.

(Active Reading) – Employ techniques of active reading, critical reading, and informal reading response for inquiry, learning, and thinking. (Word Count 401)

Before the semester, the extent of my annotating process was to highlight text that I thought might be applicable to an assignment at a later date. As I reflect upon that process, I realize that only highlighting words on a page is a very superficial method of annotating. This is to say that I didn’t engage with a text or gain a deeper meaning of it. Furthermore, I would rarely follow up the reading with a written analysis. This cursory approach to annotating limited my ability to understand texts, and therefore diminished the quality of my work.  

At the beginning of the semester however, I was encouraged to establish a meaningful and recursive habit of annotating. By making it a priority to employ techniques of active reading I found that my understanding of texts increased, and when it came time to write an essay I had already formed a viewpoint.

The types of annotations that helped me the most were annotating to understanding the text, relating the piece to myself or the world, and challenging or extending ideas in the text. An example of this was my constant questioning of Paul Bloom’s piece, “Is Empathy Overrated?” (Image 1).

As I began to question Bloom’s claims, I found myself increasingly opposed to his position on the value of empathy. This positioned me against his arguments and ultimately I argued against his theories in my second paper. Furthermore, I even used the questioning of this claim to implement a naysayer statement into my essay (Image 2).

In addition to employing the active reading techniques of questioning, I also used annotations to develop a better understanding of certain terms and ideas. An example of this was the graph I drew to better visualize and understand what Robin Dunbar’s rule of three and Dunbar number meant (Image 3).

This scan of an annotation in Konnikova’s text helped me understand the rule of three and Dunbar number by visualizing the terms. I ended up using these terms as I continued to employ active reading techniques through informal reading responses. In my Konnikova reading response I outlined these terms with ease, and was able to give an in-depth analysis (Image 4).

The use of active reading techniques ultimately proved effective not only as a tool to gain a better understanding of the text, but also because I directly used this analysis in my final paper (Image 5).